In this blog, we offer useful tips on how to tell your parents you are eloping without the drama. Eloping in 2020 is very different from when your parents grew up in the ’50s and ’60s. In the past, couples would elope to run away or hide their marriage. These days couples are eloping for different reasons. Some being they want their wedding to truly be about the two of them. Others choose to elope for an intimate experience.

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Family formals are quick and easy when you elope.

Always Be Transparent

If you know you have always wanted to elope share this with your parents from the get-go.

  • Express your wants and desires for your wedding day.
  • Hiding them will only create more challenges with family.
  • Be open to the questions that will be asked. Answer them truthfully.
  • Remember this is your wedding day. You are not making excuses for your decisions just educating those who care about you.

Tell Your Parents Face to Face

Telling your parents in person is very important. Even if it is difficult or awkward.

Allowing them to see your excitement and your vision face to face will help them understand your decision to elope.

If there is a distance problem be sure to use Facetime or set up a Zoom meeting.

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It was a perfect fall day in Orange County for an elopement.

Let Them Know Your Reasons Why

Let your family and friends know your decision to elope isn’t about excluding them. Keep them informed so they understand your decision to elope.

  • We don’t want to wait to plan a big wedding.
  • We are dreaming of a truly intimate ceremony.
  • We want to start planning our future together now.
  • We don’t want the stress or financial burden of a large wedding.
  • We are looking for a unique experience on our wedding day.
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A romantic kiss at Shark Beach.

Share Your Elopement Plans

Sharing the details you are planning helps show family and close friends your excitement. It keeps them involved and helps them feel included.

Have a party before or after elopement with family and friends who won’t be there in person.

Share How You Will Include Them

Keep these in mind:

– Your parents might not walk you down the aisle in the traditional way. Be sure to let them know what to expect from the ceremony.

– Let them know the roll they will be playing in the ceremony.

– Ask family and friends who won’t be there to share a letter about you and your partner to read during the ceremony.

– Share photos of the day with family.

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On this gorgeous fall day in Laguna Beach this family has become one. Congratulations!

Announce Your Elopement With Family and Friends

Announce your plans to elope at an engagement party. This will help get your friends and family used to the idea that you are not interested in a traditional wedding and reception.

– Send an elopement announcement to family and friends.

– Follow up the announcement by sharing photos of your elopement.

-Print a large portrait from your elopement to display at a reception party.

De-bunk Old Elopement Myths

Explain to your parents elopements are not the same as they were in the 50’s & 60’s. Let them know:

  • It’s not about a secret wedding.
  • There is no shame in eloping.
  • You are not running away secretly.
  • It is not because you are an outcast or embarrassed.
  • And you are not eloping because you hate your family and friends.
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After the ceremony we headed over to Mission San Juan Capistrano for a bride and groom portrait session.

Educate your parents on what an elopement means in 2020

Eloping is about having an intentional intimate experience.

It means choosing what’s right for you and your partner over what family and friends expect.

You don’t want the focus to be about a party, the guests’ experience, the decor, entertainment, etc You can still elope with your friends and family.

It can be bold to elope. It is not traditional.

It is about an exciting, intimate, personal, decision.

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